Hogtown Blood Bowl League feed http://manager.thehobble.com/ Blood bowl league RSS feed en-EN http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification Sun, 16 Jun 2019 06:38:31 -0700 OBBLM 0.91 Match: Yella-Rok Sun-Eaterz (1) vs. Hogtown Howlers (0) The match began with the rain pouring down for the first half, making both the ball and ground slippery. The speed of the howlers turning against them as their feet failed to find purchase when going for it. Allowing Da Yella-Roks to surround their players cause all kinds of consternation. However the weather wizards were paid off, and the second half turned into some wonderful bloodbowl weather and the methodical stomping of Da Yella-Roks meant that they slowly ground their way up the pitch for a touchdown on the final turn. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-06-11 19:20:22 Match: Averland Black Bears (2) vs. Mighty Mighty Reds (0) "Griff doing Griff things" Code for how Griff took over the match, from turn one blitzing pass the reds line to secure the ball and generally dictating the tempo of the game. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-06-03 20:39:07 Match: Da Orc Kestra (2) vs. Badland Bullies (0) POST-MATCH INTERVIEW WITH JUS' HATIN' and 'WEIRD' WUZZAG Arwin Anders, Sideline Reporter for Spike! Magazine AA: Jus’ Hatin', 'Weird' Wuzzag, thanks for speaking with me. Now, I don’t usually interview opposing blood bowl players at the same time, but we’re in a bit of a time crunch - JH: ‘ERE WE GO, ‘ERE WE GO, ‘ERE WE GOOOO WW: Gerroff, Hatin’! Nuffin’ fair about dat match! JH: Youz just mad ‘cuz you lost! Looooooooser! WW: I show ya a - * Arwin’s Camera-ogre cuffs both players * AA: Ahem. Thank you, Gronk. As I was saying. Hatin’, your fans played a strong role in the match early on. JH: Huh. Maybe you fink so. Maybe was just Feelix Meddlesum hidin’ in da stands at kickoff. Dat rock, takin’ out deir troll while he watches da ball flying troo da air? Was perfect. AA: I heard the Bullies’ apothecary saying that if it wasn’t for Gobbler’s regeneration, he would have missed the whole game. As it was, he sat nearly the whole first half. That let your own Rickard Whopper have the run of the pitch, wouldn’t you say? JH: Not really. Whopper don’t so much “run” as “lumber.” AA: Over to you, Wuzzag - was the departure of Gobbler difficult to compensate for? WW: Us boyz is ‘ard, and we don’t need no troll. Naw, da problem was dat dese cheeters brought on Ugroth Bolgrot AND HIS CHAINSAW. AA: That’s fair, but the fans did love watching him go after Gorbad and take him out. I hear he’ll be missing his next game? WW: Dat’s right. AA: But one of your goblins fouled him out of the game, isn’t that right? WW: Hurr. AA: Which goblin was that? It happened in the middle of a circle of orcs, so it was hard to make out his kit. WW: Not sure, m’self. Don’t matter. Gobbos is gobbos; dey’z all da same. AA: And then as the first half ground to a halt and it became clear that the Kestra – JH: Da ORC Kestra! AA: Yes, that’s right, I’m sorry. As it became clear that da Orc Kestra would score at the end of the half, two of your players (*checks her notepad*) Gorgut and Scarfang Spleenrippa both… ran AWAY from the ruck? WW: Ster-a-tee-jick with-drawl, da coach sez. No chance ta stop da goal, so ‘e tells dem boyz ta keep safe and make da ovver team work fer da hitz. AA: It kept them safe for a bit. JH: Nuffle seed dem, dough. He got ‘em in da end! In da second ‘alf, Scarfang tripped on a mushroom and got knocked outta da game, and same ting happened to Gorgut! Hurr hurr. WW: Shurrup, you! Lissen. Nuffle gives, and Nuffle take away, of somefin’ like dat. JH: ‘E also took away yer last chance to score in da first half. Gobbler came back on in da last turn, but was TOO STUPID ta frow yer gobboz! Hurr. WW: *growling, then eyeing the camera-ogre warily* AA: Well, let’s talk about that. Hatin’, da Orc Kestra’s fans were the rowdiest, but remarkably peaceful during the Pitch Invasion that started the second half. Fully half of your team’s players were left stunned on the pitch, but not a single one of the Bullies was affected. Are the Bullies’ fans just… ahem… “’arder” than yours? JH: NO WAY. Dey just knew dat we dinna need da help. Dey prefer dat we do da crushin’. Hurr. AA: Early in the second half, the Bullies’ fumbled a drive, but seemed confident that they’d be able to recover. The ball was in the middle of a pretty solid ruck, with players on both sides, and da Orc Kestra was running out of steam. But then, you managed to snag the ball and slip away from the Bullies’ players, and into a pretty solidly caged position. How did you manage it? WW: Dat’s right. Dat was some ELF-LEVEL-BULLSHIT right dere. (editor’s note: Actual quote from Trev on game night.) JH: *shrugs* I iz dodgy. Thanks be ta Nuffle. Also, Gork and Mork. But mostly Nuffle. AA: But that was nearly… supernatural. JH: *grins* AA: So, Wuzzag with the game grinding down, the Kestra- JH: DA ORC KESTRA AA: Right, right. Da Orc Kestra up by a couple of players, and Bullies falling left and right, what was your game plan? WW: Really, we’z just tryin’ ta score. And by score, I mean take out some of DA KESTRA playaz. JH: DA ORC KESTRA!! WW: Hurr. Yeah, whateva. We just started tryin’ ta hit and maim, and bloody dem. And if, maybe, we get our handz on da ball, den we try to tie it up. AA: But they kept it away from you. WW: Yup. Doze gobboz day added after deir last game wuz not bad. Whopper trows in Meddlesum, who runz it in to close out day game. Not our finest moment. JH: IT WAS *OUR* FINEST MOMENT. AA: Would you say they earned the victory? Did they want it more? WW: Naw. But Hatin’ hasn’t had much to gloat about dis season. Figgered we’d give him a morale boost. Hurr. JH: Why you- AA: And we’ll end it there. Gentle-orcs, thanks for your time. JH&WW (together): HEY! WHO YOU CALLIN’ GENTLE?! http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-05-24 05:22:12 Match: Yella-Rok Sun-Eaterz (0) vs. Mighty Mighty Reds (2) Da Yella-Roks are looking to lodge a formal complaint to Da Commish about the lackluster performance of one Morg'n'Thorg. It seems like some shennanigans were in play as Morg left the field within minutes of the opening half and did not return until the final few minutes of the game. Da Yella-Roks also found that the coach room had been sacked, their plans shared with the Mighty Mighty Reds, allowing them to intercept a set play! And to add insult to injury their winnings had been tampered, leaving them with the barest of coin to continue through the final few games of the season. Looking through the destroyed coach's room, the only thing left was a note scrawled that said, "Sorry Rokz, dey pay more." (Seriously Morg was knocked out Turn 3, and only came back on turn 7 of the second half... I had a bloodweiser babe too!) http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-05-22 19:17:36 Match: Badland Bullies (0) vs. Averland Black Bears (0) "BULLIES BEAR BEARS’ BLITZ, BULLY BEARS!" The Conjurers' Broadcasting Corporation would like to apologize to all viewers who were offended by last night's broadcast, which featured no less than 9 players badly hurt or worse, and tested the sensibilities of even the hardiest Blood Bowl fan to violent viewing. While the Bullies were lucky to walk away from their injuries, the Black Bears will be looking to fill 3 more vacancies on their roster... In unrelated news, Sweetey Todd's famous meat pies are now "Buy 2, Get 1 Free", for a limited time only! http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-05-04 10:13:42 Match: Badland Bullies (3) vs. Yella-Rok Sun-Eaterz (0) "WITH FANS LIKE THESE..." Despite Badland Bullies fans significantly outnumbering Sun-Eaterz fans, the sidelines proved lethal to the Bullies, as rabid Bullies fans accidentally tore Team Captain Gorgrim limb from limb while seeking his autograph. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-04-24 20:27:26 Match: Da Orc Kestra (2) vs. Mighty Mighty Reds (2) INTERVIEW WITH JUS’ HATIN’, ORC KESTRA TEAM CAPTAIN Arwin Anders, Sideline reporter for Spike! Magazine AA: Let’s talk about the ball for a moment. JH: DUN WANNA. Snottz covered it wif pig fat. Made it too ‘ard ta get a grip. Dass it. AA: And what about that touchback? That resulted in a quick first goal for the Reds. JH: Coaching error. Gio an’ No-‘ands done wot coach sed, ran deep inta Redz side ta grab da ball. Not our fault ball ended up on da line o’ scrimmage. AA: So, you’re down 2-0 by the middle of the first half. How did you turn it around? JH: We dun wot gud orc boyz do. We start hittin’. Ogrez take a lotta boyz ta bring ‘em down. Snottz, not so much. Hurr. AA: Can we talk about how SMART those ogres were? JH: Only in da first haff. Not ‘ardly any standin’ round starin’ at da bugs. *shudders* Wazn’t natural. But DEN… da second haff was much more like reg’lar ogrez. Dey is _so stupid_. Not like us boyz. AA: Do you attribute your ability to tie up the game to a higher level of intelligence than your opponents? JH: Huh? Naw. We scored ‘cuz der wuz only five Redz on da pitch by da end. Ogrez hit hard, but only when dey playin’. An’ ogrez have a ‘ard time rememberin’ dat dey s’posed ta get da ball, not just punch. Dat’s why dey need da snottz. So we hit da snottz. You new at dis? AA: I think we’ll end this here. Thanks for your time. JH: Welcome. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-04-24 19:58:29 Match: Da Orc Kestra (1) vs. Averland Black Bears (1) Game report by Jus' Hatin', Da Orc Kestra team captain: Da humies hit hard, considerin' dey so small and squishy. But we boyz got 'ard spiky armour, and we hitz 'arder! Sometimez, we pushez da humies too much instead of nockin' 'em down, and dey drag da ball in to score. Not fair - dey s'posed ta stand firm and 'it back! But den, Pee-yoter was dodgy like a elf, and snuck in a score near da end of da game so we not loze. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2019-04-23 19:16:10 Match: Misty Mountain Maniacs (0) vs. Kitchener Pantry Cats (1) Fans celebrated the debut of the Misty Mountain Maniacs by ripping apart their Captain, Fingus the Pogoer, on a crowd surf in the opening moments of the match! http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-11-06 17:19:24 Match: Mount Royal Habitants (2) vs. Nasty Ladies (DE) (0) ALLEZ MONT ROYAL! In a game where both sides seemed to have their shoelaces tied together and couldn't dodge out of danger to save their life, Jean "Gros Bill" Beliveau was the difference-maker in a tight contest between the debutant Habs and the veteran Nasty Ladies with two clutch passes for touchdowns late in each half, including a miraculous long bomb from deep in his own end. Shorty and Agatha Cristy did the damage for the dark elves, but their teammates weren't able to capitalize and score. Te crowd was in a feisty mood, rioting to start the 2nd half and chucking a goblin fanatic onto the pitch, which cut a swath of destruction through both teams. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-10-24 17:29:50 Match: Badland Bullies (1) vs. Tralinia Golden Dragons (1) "A HARD FOUGHT RUCK!" High Elven nobility proved themselves the equal to Orcish might, as the Tralinia Golden Dragons went up against the Badland Bullies and emerged unscathed with a well-earned tie for their troubles. Linriava was the elven star of the night as their timely passes were key to the Golden Dragon's touchdown. 'Weird' Wuzzag equalized for the Bullies after a steady 2nd-half drive that saw the Bullies lose possession twice yet quickly recover. But the strategic duel wasn't enough for the rowdy crowd, which threw all manner of memorabilia and projectiles onto the pitch at every opportunity in the 2nd half, ultimately causing more bloodshed than both teams combined. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-09-12 21:10:17 Match: Nasty Ladies (DE) (2) vs. Tralinia Golden Dragons (2) A rousing intro game with some elf on elf violence! http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-08-13 03:36:14 Match: Jonestown Puppeteers (2) vs. Riverland Walleyes (0) Charles Orcustus Morknessen has died for the second and third time, thanks to decay. His life was not long, but it was interesting. In the first half, OG-R4 had 4 loners, and double-skulled out. MVP. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-07-10 18:27:11 Match: 50 - No fly Zone (2) vs. Jonestown Puppeteers (1) The tale of the skinks that would not take the beating they, deep in their hearts, truly wanted. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-06-15 04:43:14 Match: Riverdale Rotskins (0) vs. Da Dragonback Bombas (0) Morg rolled three double skulls! http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-06-14 19:49:05 Match: Karak Nhati Bengals (2) vs. The Scowrers (2) "BENGALS BLOODIED BUT SCROWERS STYMIED!" Blood Bowl lived up to its name in a brutal mid-week fixture that featured injuries and touchdowns aplenty. Literal slip-ups from the Bengal Runners left the ball unprotected early in the half, and the Scrowers' Baskeet "The Hound" snuck in and scooped it up to score a defensive touchdown. The Bengals' Tryg Magnisson scored in the following drive, and the half ended 1-1. In the 2nd half, "Killer" Culverton tore into the beleaguered Bengals to rack up a league-leading 11 casualties, while Baskeet took advantage to score a second touchdown. Looking at a 2-1 deficit and with time running out, things looked grim for the doughty Dwarfs, but the Scrowers ill-discipline got the better of them. The Scrowers' Troll "Unholy" Pete was left without a minder and started picking dandelions at a crucial moment, allowing the Bengals to grab an unprotected ball and, in a daring hand-off play that would make the Elfheim Eagles blush, run the ball in to score and keep their playoff hopes alive. Jarek Brokkisson III was hailed as the MVP, while the Scrowers were booed off the pitch by their fans, many swearing never to support the team again, for letting an elusive victory slip away. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-05-30 20:56:36 Match: Titans of Tartarus (1) vs. Riverdale Rotskins (2) Ramtut III came out to play. Ramtut III lied down on a dodge in first half and decided to rest in the KO bin for the rest of the game. Ramtut III is a star in name only. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-05-30 18:18:28 Match: Hogtown Fjord (1) vs. Jonestown Puppeteers (1) Lord Borak came out to play. Lord Borak lied down on the first play and decided to rest in the KO bin for the rest of the game. Lord Borak is a star in name only. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-05-16 18:27:15 Match: Karak Nhati Bengals (3) vs. Da Dragonback Bombas (0) Da Bombas hired Bomber Dribblesnot to give them 12 players and traveled to the Bengals home stadium. Only 9 of them made the journey home. Missing the key Smiley Cyrut to injury for this match, they attempted a double bomber barrage after kicking to the Bengals. Unfortunately the bombs while causing mayhem were not very powerful and even after knocking down 5 dwarves with one bomb they could do nothing about the ball on the floor and it was swiftly recovered the following turn. Lining up in the 2nd half with 5, then 4 players remaining - every opportunity for even a minor glory cruelly slipped from their grasp, with the Bengals running up the score and a Pitch Invasion taking out ONLY the troll to ruin their final OTT attempt. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-05-15 19:26:43 Match: Jonestown Puppeteers (0) vs. Riverdale Rotskins (1) A nail biter of a match. Stumbling over his own feet, Jonestown ball carrier Mr Hugz let go of the ball on their offense. Which allowed Riverdale to score a defensive touchdown. Despite lacking their leader figure Armand Armour, things looked bright for the Rotskins at beginning of the second half. This was when Grashnak Blackhoof kicked into overdrive and KO'd one Rotskin after another. Down to five players in the end, it was largely Bobby Bellychick's individual performance that saved the win. Bobby managed to recover the ball twice, thus critically delaying the Puppeteers enough to keep them from scoring. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-05-03 21:09:56