Hogtown Blood Bowl League feed http://manager.thehobble.com/ Blood bowl league RSS feed en-EN http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification Tue, 20 Feb 2018 07:23:08 -0800 OBBLM 0.91 Match: Titans of Tartarus (0) vs. Zharr-Hanta Argonauts (1) Described as a very violent affair with just enough razzle-dazzle to produce a winner, the Argonauts and the Titans collided on the pitch in front of 32,000 screaming fans. The teams did not disappoint! The Argos received and met the Titans' line at midfield. The drive ground to a screeching halt before Useless Cutass evaded coverage and made a break for the end zone in turn . Nefertiti and Anck Su took advantage of their unskilled markers and dodged back to take down the agile Hobbo and recover the ball. Nefertiri attempted a pass down the left sideline to an open Khayu, but he bobbled the catch. With the ball lying directly between Khayu and the sideline, the Argos needed to channel their inner elf to make a TD happen before the half ended. Useless Cutass pushed to get to the endzone and got ready to receive the ball. Spike O'Slay blitzed Nefertiri into the crowd to open up a hole for Splat Drunk-again to dodge free of his coverage, dance around Khayu to grab the ball, push into the open, and launch a long pass for the score. Second half saw the Titans try to push down the left sideline again, stalling out when they ran into the teeth of the Argos' defense. A crafty chainpush from Useless Cutass opened up a hole big enough for Spike O'Slay to barge through for the sack. The Titans recovered the ball, with Nefertiri making a run for paydirt. Again, Spike was able to find a hole in the coverage, dodge through, and put the Ghoul down. The crowd got a hold of the ball and sent it to the other side of the pitch, ending the threat. Useless attempted to huck the rock to Mace "Painbull" Kill-menz for a second TD, but Mace wasn't able to haul in the wobbly pass (despite a very fortunate scatter). http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-02-13 18:40:07 Match: The Scrowers (1) vs. Hogtown Fjord (2) So. Much. Blood. Bob. I'm standing here on a haematological nightmare swamp that used to be The Scrower's pitch Bob in the aftermath of the meet up between the Hogtown Fjord and The Scrowers. I'm not gonna lie, Bob, The Fjord came out and looked nervous in the first half facing off against three Big Guys, a chainsaw, and a bombardier. Not to mention the mitt full of dirty tricks the Scrowers had hidden in their playbook. The Fjord received and moved the ball up the field slowly and tried to punch away at the opposition, with little to no effect. Bombs kept most of the forward line sucking turf and The Fjords blitz attempts on crucial targets delivered lack lustre results. Just when Lemmy had delivered the ball to a score-able position, The Scrowers deployed a trampoline trap and Lemmy and ball were sent flying into the stands, knocking Lemmy out and sending the ball cascading around the field. This seemed to infuriate The Fjord who started focusing less on the ball an more on throwing the boot to The Scrowers who started falling one by one to the relentless onslaught. It was a failed dodge off the line of scrimmage by Charles Orcustus Morknessen (who managed to give himself a doozy of a concussion in the process) late in the first half, that really seemed to shift the momentum. The Fjord managed to move the ball deep into The Scrowers' half late in the first half, and in the last moments of the half with no opposition on the field between them and victory, Lars lobbed a beautiful pass out to the end zone - arcing, spiralling, - and bouncing off the back of the helmet of Lars standing in the end zone. By the second half, if was a sparse Scrowers' team that took the field, less than half the team able to muster for lineup. The Fjord was ruthless and relentless in their assault, systematically isolating and brutally assaulting each Scrower in turn. The Scrowers scored quickly in the half but their diminished numbers couldn't stop an answering goal by Lemmy. As the minutes of the second half dwindled, so did the Scrowers numbers, one by one Medivac'd from the field until only "The Hound" Baskeet stood between Lemmy and the winning goal. Baskeet gave his best effort but was overwhelmed by numbers and could only watch from his horizontal pitch position as Lemmy danced across the field, scooped up the errant ball and glided across the goal line in the last seconds of the game for the win. Fans of both teams who watched this game will be forever scarred. Back to you Bob. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-02-13 18:32:16 Match: Da Dragonback Bombas (0) vs. Hypnotic Gays (1) The fans were out in droves for this game, and Da Bombas did their best plying the crowd with wet T-shirt contests and MGD (Mad Goblin Draft). Unfortunately, the vampires started off strongly, quickly knocking goblin after goblin off the pitch. A brave last minute effort by Zegnor almost stopped Liberace, however he was quickly surrounded by Thralls and sent off the pitch. Allowing the Gays to go up 1-0 at the end of the first half. Da Bomba Coaches 'Koach Brothers' spent the entire half-time arguing with the Ref and Da Bombas were allowed to keep Oorhee for the second half. Who then went to town, carving through the vampires and thralls with his chainsaw. Alas, it became clogged with gore and blood, and at the crucial time it stalled; allowing the Gays to recover the ball and keeping it away from the Goblins for the last few minutes. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-02-12 18:15:10 Match: Karak Nhati Bengals (2) vs. Riverland Walleyes (2) The game started with a grinding first half, the Walleyes kicking to the Bengals. Grim Ironjaw took a rough hit early ending his game. Despite their early bad luck the Dwarves were able to grind out a 1-0 lead after the first half, barely preventing a quick counterstrike by the Walleyes. A human friendly wizard, Stodus Kronos, frustrated with the outcome, tossed the game into a time vortex. The humans were ready to strike once time returned to normal, the Walleyes scoring quickly hoping for a 2 touchdown half. Despite mounting losses, the Bengals were able to sneak out a touchdown on the bottom of 15. Angry with this result a riot broke out at the stadium, giving the Wizard Kronos another opportunity to leverage his magic and add an extra turn. The Walleyes seized the opportunity and, almost like time was standing still for the Dwarves, were able to score to force a tie. The league is currently considering banning time wizards from future matches but there is no set date on when the investigation will complete. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-02-11 19:01:00 Match: Riverdale Rotskins (2) vs. The Scrowers (0) Aerine Adlere had the crowd "oohhing" and "aahhing" as the elf leapt from a prone position, grabbed the ball from the feet of the Nurgle players, and dodged away. Minutes later, Terry "Tickleme" Tongueface had the crowd cheering wildly as he smashed Adlere into the dirt, giving him a serious concussion and forcing him to miss the rest of the match. The game devolved into a violent ruck in the centre of the pitch. Somehow, Diddy Deceased found the ball in his hands, and his teammates literally shoved him out of the ruck and he jogged down the field to score. Not to be outdone, Don Decay was the star of the second half. Although he caused no less than two casualties himself, the rookie Rotter's finest move was to stiff-arm a blitzing "Killer" Culverton, dropping the Minotaur to the ground and buying Ferdinand Foulhoof all the time he needed to run the ball into the endzone. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-02-01 17:56:59 Match: Karak Nhati Bengals (1) vs. Hogtown Fjord (0) Bengals kept the numerical majority throughout the game, but couldn't manage a score in their opening drive. 3 KO's and Fjord lost a player to ejection. Flint Churnblade managed to fall on his own chainsaw a lot. In the Fjord's drive, after crucially missing the SamSquanntch for the 2nd half - an absolute peach of a kick landed right between all their players, but a hole was exploited for Elakki Bronnsnev to blitch Lemmy Sigviddson and the ball bounced out of bounds and back towards the dwarves safeties. A huge scrum built in midfield, and The Fjord's AV/CAS dice even got hot and 3 casualties happened in 2 turns, but the Bengals managed to squeak it in on the last turn of the game. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-01-25 20:41:08 Match: The Scrowers (0) vs. Manchuckster United (1) It was perfect Blood Bowl weather as the whistle blew to start The Scrowers and Manchuckster United's inaugural Season 10 game. Manchuckster received the football and started a relentless march downfield to scoring position. However, a routine dump-off pass from Man Utd Thrower Flutie saw the ball released too quickly, and it bounced off Wylie C.'s hands to lie unclaimed in the grass. The Scrowers' androgynous Aerine Adlere seized her (his?) chance, leapt gracefully over the Man Utd receiving corp, swept up the ball and dodged out in a breathtaking display of elven bullshittery. Spotting a Scrower downfield, Aerine threw the ball into the air...only to be intercepted in spectacular fashion by Wylie C., who ran the ball uncontested into the endzone to score! With three quarters left to play, The Scrowers launched a furious assault on the Man Utd lines. The Humans were battered and stunned, repeatedly, by the chainsaws of Helmut Wulf and Ulgroth Bolgrot, but miraculously suffered no serious casualties from the star duo. Possession swung back and forth several times, but Nuffle's spite denied both teams clear chances to score. "Killer" Culverton inflicted two bloody casualties on Man Utd, but the indomitable Will Wheaton took advantage of a key moment of stupidity from the Scrowers' Mercenary Troll to grab the football and shield it from harm as the clock wound down on a hard-fought 1-0 victory for Manchuckster's Red Devils. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2018-01-24 20:03:58 Match: Mousillon Mauraders (0) vs. Companions in Crimson (2) The day (or should we say night) had finally come, there was a palatable sense of blood in the air, for it was time for the two Vampire Teams to finally face-off. Knowing that they would be their best in the night, the weather wizards summoned clouds to cover the sun. Unfortunately that led to a deluge of rain as the game played in the wet weather throughout! Lining up, the first hit of the game was a resounding success, Janine Dafoe quickly sending Leon off the pitch with an injury. It seemed the Companions were out for blood, as on the second hit Mascherano took one of the Mauraders Vampires into the pitch and even with his regeneration was unable to save him. (Seriously I don't think I ever passed a regen this entire season!) There was a brief respite when Couyoh attempted to swing the ball back, knocking down the Companion holding the ball, then picking it up and tossing it to Hefenhofen. Unfortunately his gimp leg worked up and he was unable to avoid Wilhelm Chaney. Who quickly knocked him into the crowd, while the rest of the Companions slugged their way forward, swarming over the remaining Thralls. Meanwhile, Lilith continued her reign of terror upon the poor Thralls of the Mauraders, more focused on drinking the blood of her own team than actually playing the game. This led to the Companions shortly getting a touchdown with only a few minutes remaining in the half. The Mauarders knew that if they could get a few players downfield, there was a chance to tie this game going into the half. Unfortunately with the rain, and the gimp leg of Hefenhofen it was not to be. The three players in scoring position were quickly nullified entranced in the Hypnotic Gaze of the Companions, or simply knocked down by Wilhelm. However, the Mauraders weren't too worried, at this point they were only down 1-0 and they still had a whole half to play. Only time would tell how wrong they were. Flush with the success of their first half the Companions came out flying! Before the half had even begun they Blitz'd their way into the Mauraders half of the pitch, and Couyoh was quickly tossed into the crowd, leaving only the crazy Lilith and gimp Hefenhofen to try and carry the team. Alas it was not to be, Lilith attempted to direct the thralls into a difficult play which would've resulted in two Companions off the pitch if it had worked. Unfortunately she had drained so much of the blood from these thralls during the half that they were more sluggish than normal and quickly stumbled into the ground. Meanwhile the Wilhelm had made his way to Hefenhofen and with a quick shove, pushed him into the crowd as well! (Seriously, I don't know how many times I had people pushed into the crowd this game! I really need to work on better placement!) This led to a a pow-wow of Crimson Vampires now holding the ball near the end-zone. Lilith attempted to knock down the ball-carrier, unfortunately only pushing him deeper into the half and then surrounding herself among the three! She then tried to chat them all up about the glories of drinking the blood of thralls, and it almost worked. Convincing 2 of the 3 vampires to try the exquisite taste of their thralls. Unfortunately, the last one was able to shake off the effects, and walk in with a touchdown. This led to the final quarter of the game, the Mauraders would need both luck and skill (mainly luck) to tie the game. It was possible, however it did require the Thralls to handle the ball, and unfortunately, the weather was not helping in that regard. Failing to pick up the rain-slicked ball for meant that it was now impossible for them to win. There was a brief moment of solace when the Gaston managed to take down the 'Old Master' on the last dodge of the game. Diving at his feet and bringing him down to stop a rout. Alas it was not to be, and with the season over and the grudge-match settled, the Mauraders decided to take a small leave of absence. They will recuperate and visit with their steady fan-base. However claims have started to arise that the fanbase may not actually be under some kind of hypnosis. As how could there still be fans after with 0wins and 16 losses. (I'm not saying they are the worst team ever in the existence of the league... but they literally the worst team in the league of teams that have played at least 1 game.) http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-06-29 20:58:05 Match: Da Gof Rokkerz (2) vs. W: Ganja Girls (0) Da Rokkerz laid a savage beating on the Ganja Girls. In true elf fashion it was anybodies game until the last turn. It took a wizard and 2 star players to keep them down. The Orc bench was 15 deep which meant lots of fouling. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-06-15 18:01:32 Match: W: Ganja Girls (3) vs. Mousillon Mauraders (1) Playing at the home stadium of the Mauraders, deep in the east-end of Mousillon. The Vampires figured it was their time to shine, on this final game of the regular season. They knew that once again they wouldn't make the playoffs but if they could lay down a game that their thralls would remember. They began by calling upon the services of the wizard that served them so well against the skaven. Unfortunately he could not repeat the success and only managed to knock out one elf which allowed the others to score two quick touchdowns before the end of the first half. Down 2-0 the Vampires struggled back, Lilith managing to throw a long pass down to Couyoh who scored a rare touchdown for the Vampires. And the crowd went wild! So celebratory that they invaded the field. Unfortunately even though the clock continued to run, it was not enough to stop the elfs from throwing one last touchdown. Ending the Mauraders season with a 3-1 trouncing and another season without success. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-05-16 20:06:11 Match: W: Ganja Girls (3) vs. Dwarf Buddies (1) It definitely seemed to be the Ganja Girls day. They chose to receive and were able to push a trollslayer into the crowd - though they were drastically unable to cause any injuries whatsoever to the Buddies throughout the entire match, it was really difficult for the Buddies to manage anything in the first half because NOTHING the Girls tried failed. Literally nothing. Additionally, they were able to take advantage of a critically timed blitz - the Ganja Girls went hyper aggressive late in the first half and managed to force a turnover score to go up 2 nil at the half time whistle. In the second half a reduction in numbers made it a tougher job - though they were able to put enough pressure on Dancer he decided to score before the middle of the half. Again the Girls went hyper aggressive knowing a 3rd TD would put the game beyond reach, and even with a nicely planned hit on the ball carrier, the Girls persevered and despite some nail biting moments managed the 3rd touchdown to put the game beyond reach. It all unfortunately fell apart for the Buddies - even with a decent amount of time on the clock the pressure was telling and a severe case of butterfingers and slippery boots meant no consolation. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-05-04 20:17:29 Match: Riverdale Rotskins (2) vs. The Skullcrushers (0) The noise of the cheering and stomping fans was nearly unbearably loud, as the crowds filled the sold-out Meeplemart stadium. In their final match of the season, the Skullcrushers and the Rotskins met to determine the division champion, and expectations were high. As it turned out, the fans would not be disappointed. The Chaos Chosen had won the toin coss and decided to kick. Riverdale decided to make it count, and with the first block of the game, Lolo Lovebear badly hurt a beastman. Terry "Tickleme" Tongueface aimed to follow in his steps, but instead rolled a triple skull - and knocked himself out in the process. The game remained exquisitly violent, with two more Skullcrushers getting knocked out and Skullabalaktus the Untamed injuring a pestigor. Just to be seriously injured himself by hired gun Lord Borak the Despoiler, who added a second niggling injury to the minotaur. With time slowly running out, ball carrier Bobby Bellychick was forced to dodge away from the Chaos warrior threat, but managed to stay on his feet and score at the end of the half. Second half started as exciting as the first half had ended, with a drunken dwarf throwing his empty beer keg on the pitch, nearly knocking out Zebulon, the strength 6 chaos warrior. A blitz on Lord Borak, who was guarding the sideline, left him standing on his feet, unimpressed by the Chaos onslaught. Bobby Bellychick did not let this opportunity pass, counterblitzing and killing his target, while chainpushing another Skullcrusher into the crowd. Borak finished the turn by catapulting one more opponent into the fans. Down to five players, all hopes were on Blood Frenzy, the strength- and agility-boosted dodging beastman carrying the ball. Who also fell victim to a blitz by Borak, but was able to get back to his feet and pickup the ball. Left with no backup, his escape run was finally stopped by Bobby Bellychick, who - in top form and true MVP of the match - later managed to pick up the ball and pass it to Ferdinand Foulhoof who scored in the the last seconds of the match for the final 2-0. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-05-04 19:01:51 Match: Clar Karond Corsairs (2) vs. W: Ganja Girls (3) So close, and yet a clutch turn 16 OTTD secure the win for the Ganja Girls http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-27 20:04:36 Match: Snotgrab's Nut Puntchaz (1) vs. Hogtown Fjord (2) The 401 games Friday night lights didn't disappoint. Blood, gore, death! Players sometimes even handling the ball! The match started off with a bang, with an early game of explosive hot potato slowing the Norse. A mean right hook from Rokk straight up murdered Lars Fodderson Jr. When asked about using his apothecary, Rob Fjord simply shrugged. The Goblins couldn't hold them however, and the Hogtown Fjord scored to end the first half. The second half started off with more skull crunching, the Goblins sneaking famed Fungus "the Loon" onto the pitch. A quick Goblin toss netted a TD for Dobby and the Gobs were able to nut puntch Lemmy Sigviddson off the pitch. Lars "Bootsy" Ivarrson didn't take kindly to his teammate being killed however, and brought his skills to bear by crushing Buncy's neck. The furious Norse were able to overwhelm the goblins and score in the dying minutes, leading them to victory. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-21 19:54:52 Match: Da Gof Rokkerz (2) vs. Companions in Crimson (2) The Companions are on the board! Some poor ball handling resulted in some Vampire scoring. Not a great game for the Rokkerz. (Edited by Trev: Dave wrote the above; I only added 2nd TD for the Companions.) http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-18 21:16:07 Match: Mousillon Mauraders (1) vs. Zharr-Hanta Argonauts (2) Back in action at the 401 Stadium, there was quite a few teams out playing today, and the Argonauts v Mauraders was expected to draw a fair crowd. There was hope in the air from the fans from the Buddies that the Mauraders would act like spoilers and as the game commenced it looked like it would be the case. Even by kicking to the Argonauts, the Mauraders were able to snatch up the ball, and with a fancy pass through tackle zones, Lilith was able to pass it down field for a TD! Surprised at actually being up at the half, the team was unprepared for what was to come. Slowly but sure the Argonauts ground down the Mauraders, knocking them off the pitch. Scooping up the loose ball, they were able to clear the field of both Vampires & Thralls before walking in for the TD. Now with only 2 turns left, the Mauraders were hoping for a lucky kick and stalling out the game. Unfortunately the kicker on the Argonauts was able to place it right on the sidelines, and even though von Hefenhofen was able to pick up the ball, he was unable to get it to safety. Both Mace & Spike galloped downfield, knocking von Hefenhofen to the ground, they then kept him away from the ball as a last gasp he dove for it. Spike was able to pick it up and made his way safely into the End Zone. Amazed at this close turn of events, and the fact that the Mauraders came within a whisker of winning. The winners pot was evenly split 50/50 (or should that be 70k/70k) in the hope that the team could buy some new players. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-17 20:44:32 Match: Snotgrab's Nut Puntchaz (0) vs. Riverdale Rotskins (2) Chainsaw, Ball & Chain, Bombs, Tentacles, Big Guys! This game had it all. The fans at 401 stadium were thrilled when the match between the Rotskins and the Nut Puntchaz started. And were not disappointed, when supertroll Rokk doubleskulled his first block. The goblins recovered, but a missed dodge opened their ball carrier to a blitz and subsequently loss of the ball. Riverdale scored at the end of the half, but two carefully placed bribes kept Fanatic Kodos in play. Which paid off, as he took out two Nurgle Warriors in second half, until he was finally removed himself. Riverdale scored again in turn 15, but despite a riot, lack of men and abundance of disturbing presence did not allow the Goblins to answer with a touchdown. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-17 20:37:28 Match: Mousillon Mauraders (0) vs. Dwarf Buddies (2) Having been recently enjoying some success in local tournaments, the Mousillon Mauraders were not prepared to be back on the pitch so quickly. Playing at the 401 Stadium, their fans glad that they had returned, they helped out by tossing a rock at one of the Dwarves right off the bat! Seeing that the crowd was on their side, the Vampires decided to play a risky sideline game, hoping that by pushing off Dwarves into the crowd they could increase their #s against in the second half. Alas it was not to be, for they took hits themselves and after a strong 8-turn grind the Dwarven Buddies had score and both teams were down to 10players for the second half. Seeing that the first half was so bloody, the crowd started off the second witha Riot! In the confusion Lilith caught the ball off the kick-off and quickly tried to make it down field for a touchdown. Alas it was not to be and she tripped over her feet, too eager for the adulation of the crowd. The Dwarves quickly took things into their own hands, and beat the ever loving snot out of the Vampires. At one point there was only 1 vampire standing, the 3 other thralls on the pitch simply stunned, and everyone else hanging with the Bloodweiser babes. Then on turn 8, once more the Dwarves made a push for the end-zone and blitzed out for the 2-goal win. http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-06 20:15:15 Match: Clar Karond Corsairs (3) vs. Warpstone Stealers (1) All hail the greatest fireball ever thrown http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-04-05 18:58:26 Match: Da Gof Rokkerz (1) vs. Snotgrab's Nut Puntchaz (0) Buzz All-Grin tripped over his chainsaw and killed himself. Played at Meeplemart http://manager.thehobble.com/ 2017-03-28 19:23:46