POST-MATCH INTERVIEW WITH JUS' HATIN' and 'WEIRD' WUZZAG
Arwin Anders, Sideline Reporter for Spike! Magazine
AA: Jus’ Hatin', 'Weird' Wuzzag, thanks for speaking with me. Now, I don’t usually interview opposing blood bowl players at the same time, but we’re in a bit of a time crunch -
JH: ‘ERE WE GO, ‘ERE WE GO, ‘ERE WE GOOOO
WW: Gerroff, Hatin’! Nuffin’ fair about dat match!
JH: Youz just mad ‘cuz you lost! Looooooooser!
WW: I show ya a -
* Arwin’s Camera-ogre cuffs both players *
AA: Ahem. Thank you, Gronk. As I was saying. Hatin’, your fans played a strong role in the match early on.
JH: Huh. Maybe you fink so. Maybe was just Feelix Meddlesum hidin’ in da stands at kickoff. Dat rock, takin’ out deir troll while he watches da ball flying troo da air? Was perfect.
AA: I heard the Bullies’ apothecary saying that if it wasn’t for Gobbler’s regeneration, he would have missed the whole game. As it was, he sat nearly the whole first half. That let your own Rickard Whopper have the run of the pitch, wouldn’t you say?
JH: Not really. Whopper don’t so much “run” as “lumber.”
AA: Over to you, Wuzzag - was the departure of Gobbler difficult to compensate for?
WW: Us boyz is ‘ard, and we don’t need no troll. Naw, da problem was dat dese cheeters brought on Ugroth Bolgrot AND HIS CHAINSAW.
AA: That’s fair, but the fans did love watching him go after Gorbad and take him out. I hear he’ll be missing his next game?
WW: Dat’s right.
AA: But one of your goblins fouled him out of the game, isn’t that right?
AA: Which goblin was that? It happened in the middle of a circle of orcs, so it was hard to make out his kit.
WW: Not sure, m’self. Don’t matter. Gobbos is gobbos; dey’z all da same.
AA: And then as the first half ground to a halt and it became clear that the Kestra –
JH: Da ORC Kestra!
AA: Yes, that’s right, I’m sorry. As it became clear that da Orc Kestra would score at the end of the half, two of your players (*checks her notepad*) Gorgut and Scarfang Spleenrippa both… ran AWAY from the ruck?
WW: Ster-a-tee-jick with-drawl, da coach sez. No chance ta stop da goal, so ‘e tells dem boyz ta keep safe and make da ovver team work fer da hitz.
AA: It kept them safe for a bit.
JH: Nuffle seed dem, dough. He got ‘em in da end! In da second ‘alf, Scarfang tripped on a mushroom and got knocked outta da game, and same ting happened to Gorgut! Hurr hurr.
WW: Shurrup, you! Lissen. Nuffle gives, and Nuffle take away, of somefin’ like dat.
JH: ‘E also took away yer last chance to score in da first half. Gobbler came back on in da last turn, but was TOO STUPID ta frow yer gobboz! Hurr.
WW: *growling, then eyeing the camera-ogre warily*
AA: Well, let’s talk about that. Hatin’, da Orc Kestra’s fans were the rowdiest, but remarkably peaceful during the Pitch Invasion that started the second half. Fully half of your team’s players were left stunned on the pitch, but not a single one of the Bullies was affected. Are the Bullies’ fans just… ahem… “’arder” than yours?
JH: NO WAY. Dey just knew dat we dinna need da help. Dey prefer dat we do da crushin’. Hurr.
AA: Early in the second half, the Bullies’ fumbled a drive, but seemed confident that they’d be able to recover. The ball was in the middle of a pretty solid ruck, with players on both sides, and da Orc Kestra was running out of steam. But then, you managed to snag the ball and slip away from the Bullies’ players, and into a pretty solidly caged position. How did you manage it?
WW: Dat’s right. Dat was some ELF-LEVEL-BULLSHIT right dere. (editor’s note: Actual quote from Trev on game night.)
JH: *shrugs* I iz dodgy. Thanks be ta Nuffle. Also, Gork and Mork. But mostly Nuffle.
AA: But that was nearly… supernatural.
AA: So, Wuzzag with the game grinding down, the Kestra-
JH: DA ORC KESTRA
AA: Right, right. Da Orc Kestra up by a couple of players, and Bullies falling left and right, what was your game plan?
WW: Really, we’z just tryin’ ta score. And by score, I mean take out some of DA KESTRA playaz.
JH: DA ORC KESTRA!!
WW: Hurr. Yeah, whateva. We just started tryin’ ta hit and maim, and bloody dem. And if, maybe, we get our handz on da ball, den we try to tie it up.
AA: But they kept it away from you.
WW: Yup. Doze gobboz day added after deir last game wuz not bad. Whopper trows in Meddlesum, who runz it in to close out day game. Not our finest moment.
JH: IT WAS *OUR* FINEST MOMENT.
AA: Would you say they earned the victory? Did they want it more?
WW: Naw. But Hatin’ hasn’t had much to gloat about dis season. Figgered we’d give him a morale boost. Hurr.
JH: Why you-
AA: And we’ll end it there. Gentle-orcs, thanks for your time.
JH&WW (together): HEY! WHO YOU CALLIN’ GENTLE?!
|Posted Fri May 24 2019 5:22:12 (last edited Tue May 28 2019 7:05:34) by Feegle